Throughout my life, I’ve struggled with taking on too much responsibility when it comes to other people’s actions. Friendships, family relationships, romantic relationships, etc. I would tell myself that it was my ‘job’ to ‘fix’ it. To do something to ‘save’ whatever or whoever it was. Or even to protect people. And this feeling of responsibility weighed heavily on me. It became a huge burden.
With my last romantic relationship, I initially felt like it was my responsibility to ‘fix’ everything and make his life better. Everything seemed ‘hard’ for him and like the world worked against him (in his eyes) – and I just wanted to help. My empathic tendencies were so strong, I completely neglected myself and put all of my energy into taking responsibility for everything that happened to him. It was draining. He began to blame me for his problems. As that relationship wore on, and I realized that it was, in fact, his problem, and not mine. There is more to it than that, but for the sake of this topic, I’ll keep it brief.